I feel like I have having a mid life crisis in relation to my blog.
On one hand, I want to write and post things for myself, to help ME figure out who I am and what I like. I really struggle with this. For me, it's much easier to blend in with the crowd, wear/say/do the "done" thing and there an end. But I know that this world has so much more to offer the real me if I express myself as myself. Blogging, as I envisage it, can help me to explore different, I dunno what, lets call them "things", and somewhere in this blog I will find find the aforementioned "things" and the people who also like these "things". I want this blog to be a highly personalized blog where I can explore the world and all it has to offer. Damn the followers and comments, well and good if they come and if they don't, sod 'em.
On the other hand however ....
I think every blogger wants to be a "successful" blogger like Suzy Bubble and Tavi Gension. I want to write/ create a blog that draws followers and brands like a magnet, so that I'm universally recognized as a "successful" blogger by the time I'm twenty (or so, I'm not too fussy on the age). I'd love to be interviewed for, I dunno, magazines and shit and have the question, "So, Aoife, where did it all begin for you?", and be able to smile (a little smug on the inside) and say that I started a blog and anyone can do it and get to where I got to. I don't want to be famous, that's not the word. Known? Appreciated? But not for nothing. For my blog.
Even as I am writing this article, it sounds so materialistic and self centred. There are civil wars on in the world and millions of people dying from starvation and incurable diseases and here I am twittering on about "wanting" to have a successful blog and "wanting" to explore my tastes. But I know my feeling guilty won't solve the worlds problems, despite my doing my best to support charities.
I think I need to redefine the word successful, for myself. Is it gaining followers and developing a loyal following? Or is it exploring different aesthetics and developing my tastes? Does one ambition have to come at the expense of the other? Can I do both?
I think I am going to run with my first ambition, and let it take me where it will. It feels more "me" and less contrived than the other one. So, this blog is for one person and one person only. Moi. I'll still cherish my readers (still slightly amazed that people actually read my ramblings!), and listen if they have opinions and suggestions but my one focus on the blog is me. So, I think I will shake things up a little. Expect a few changes over the next while.
Two of the changes are:
1. I am going to make a button for my blog and will be willing to have a button exchange. I have a vague idea in my head about what I need to do to actually make it etc but if anyone is interested, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
2. I am considering making a blogroll for my blog! This is (for people who don't know) a list of blogs on the side of my blog that I think you should check out asap coz they are AWESOME. I have a number of blogs in mind for this (I will contact you for permission first) but coz I follow so many wonderful blogs (ahem... all 120+ of you) email me if you want your blog to be included and I'll have a look and get back to you asap if I want to include your blog :)